


Unrequited

by LostSoulSister



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, its just sad, no one gets together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 13:23:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20008984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostSoulSister/pseuds/LostSoulSister
Summary: Ten has a big fat crush on Johnny. What else is new?





	Unrequited

Ten has resigned himself to being silently in love with his best friend.  
He wasn’t always in love with him, but at this point, he’s spent more time being in love with him not. It was almost inevitable that he was going to fall in love with him, really. It was a joke in their friend group that everyone was in love with Johnny. But no one fell the way Ten did.  
At this point, the two had been friends for three years, and Ten realized his feelings for Johnny a year in. He was actually surprised it took him that long, considering his track record. But also unlike his track record, he was having a very hard time snapping himself out of it. Ten was just as much a realist as he was a romantic, and he knew Johnny was a tough egg to crack. Not as a friend, or even as a fuck buddy (or at least that’s what he heard, Ten had an ounce of self-preservation so he stayed away from that aspect of Johnny). Johnny had never, in the entire time that Ten had known him, ever showed any interest in dating anyone. It really wasn’t even that strange, but it seemed to go against Johnny’s vibe as this loving teddy bear.  
Ten could only spend so much time with Johnny before it became nearly impossible to think of anything other than pulling the dumb giant down for a kiss. That or running as far away as possible. He usually went for politely excusing himself for a minute to yell at himself and then coming back to endure it some more.  
Ten could feel himself slipping more than usual. The pressure of finals before the fall semester was over left him feeling drained and unable to put on the mask he used to hide his romantic feelings.   
“Kun, I’m going to break soon, I can feel it.”  
“Are you talking about the studying or Johnny?” Kun responded, not even sparing a glance up from his notes.  
“Both, but mostly Johnny. I’m going to end up telling him that I like him, he’s going to tell me he doesn’t feel the same but keep on being the perfect person that he is and act like nothing happened and we’re totally the same as before.” Ten threw himself onto his bed and groaned, partially because he landed on some textbooks he had thrown there.  
“Look,” Kun sighed, rubbing his face in his hands before turning around to face Ten. “If he says he doesn’t like you, then so what? Then you can move on with your life. Ten, you haven’t even hooked up with anyone this semester, which is like a record for you-”  
“Watch it-”  
“-just stating facts, not saying anything about it- but you’re probably pent up because of that. At the party this weekend you should makeout with someone at least, and you’ll feel better, probably.”  
“You don’t seem very sure, but I know you don't know how feelings work so i’ll let it slide.”  
“Thank you, now stop distracting me.”  
Kun was right. Making out did help. But Ten was pretty sure Kun didn’t mean making out with Johnny, because while it felt nice while they were kissing, Ten knew as soon as their lips touched that he would come to regret his actions. Ten had enough sense in him to pull away before things got too heated and immediately ran to the kitchen to go take more shots. He was gonna need a lot more alcohol to drown out the yelling in his head and heart.  
Johnny, of course, just brushed it off immediately, laughing and joking with Ten like he didn’t just have his tongue down his throat two minutes ago in the bathroom. And Ten could endure it, for a while. As the party continued, Ten found himself sneaking onto the roof of whoever’s house this was (Joshua’s? Lucas’? Jackson’s? He was too drunk to remember). The wind was probably warm to sober people but it was cool on his heated cheeks. The muffled sounds of the party in the house were like a white noise machine, and he could feel his lids getting heavy. He was half asleep when he heard a thud on the roof next to him, his eyes snapping open. Johnny’s mess of dark brown hair was the first thing he saw.   
“Hey,” Johnny said in his low voice, looking down at where Ten was laying.  
“Hey,” he sighed back.  
“Woah, what’s up with the sigh?”  
Ten sighed again, letting his eyes close and running his hands over his face. He was too drunk and too tired, physically and mentally, to come up with a lie.  
“I’m just over it.”  
“It?”  
“My big stupid ass crush on you.”  
“...oh.”  
“Yeah.”  
Ten sat up slowly and turned towards Johnny, who was pointedly not looking at him. It stung, but he opened his mouth again.  
“I’m pretty sure at this point I’m just straight up in love with you, but I’ve been too afraid to say anything for two years now and now it’s gotten to the point where I can’t have a single normal thought about you anymore. At the same time, it’s just so natural with you that I don’t know what not being in love with you would feel like. If you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine, I’ll get over it soon enough, but I just need you to know so I’m not living in this limbo anymore.”  
Ten took a deep breath and closed his eyes, fighting off the nausea that was partially from the alcohol and partially from the anxiety of waiting for an answer. His eyes opened when he felt Johnny’s hand on his, and the look he saw instantly made his heart plummet into his stomach.   
“Ten,” Johnny started, taking both of Ten’s hands into both of his.   
“Ten, I like you too. A lot. More than I should. You’re so comfortable to be around and you’re one of my best friends. I would say I probably have a crush on you too…”  
Ten held his breath, waiting for Johnny to continue.   
“But I don’t know how I feel about relationships. I know that one day I want to be in one, but I don’t know if I’m ready for it right now. I don’t think I’m what you need Ten.”  
Ten couldn’t stop the tears that fell, mainly because Johnny was still holding onto his hands, but also because the alcohol stopped him from steadying himself.   
“Oh Johnny, you’ve just done the worst thing you could. You’ve given me hope.”  
After that, Ten lost it, sobbing as Johnny still held onto his hands, his thumbs stroking the back of Ten’s hands. Eventually, Johnny pulled Ten into a tight hug, mumbling apologies that just made Ten cry even harder, his body shaking. After a while, Ten started to calm down, and his eyes became even heavier, drifting into unconscious while still in Johnny’s arms.   
After that, everything was a pin in Ten’s heart. Some days, he could have a normal conversation with Johnny, and other days, it was just too much and he avoided direct conversation. But seeing his big smile when he laughed would stab Ten in the heart.  
Ten knew that one day, Johnny would be ready for a relationship. But with Johnny graduating, Ten knew they were headed their separate ways, and he was never going to have that chance. But it didn’t stop his heart from waiting. His heart would wait forever for the glimmer of a chance that Johnny gave him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself for this.  
> This is unedited (as you can probably tell) and I don’t feel like going back to edit it cause I only hate myself a little bit.   
> Inspired by personal events and my friend always writing one of their side characters as being in love with their main character but nEVER LETTING THEM BE TOGETHER


End file.
